A close friend of mine, after having read my post about taking responsibility, became very curious about how to implement it in the case of relationships in a holistic way. Today I will give you an answer.
What Are Relationships
An interpersonal relationship refers to the association, connection, interaction and bond between two or more people. There are many different types of relationships.http://www.assertbh.org.uk/
The website presents four major types of relationships. I will add some more here as apart from the mankind there are also other entities and civilisations in the Universe of which the Earth is only a small dot on the whole map.
Therefore, I distinguish the following kinds of relationships:
- human beings – an intimate relationship
- human beings – the rest of the family
- human beings – friends, co-workers, neighbours and other ones
- animals, plants, all the nature
- extraterrestrial beings and spiritual entities (e.g. Jesus, Mary, angels)
Today I will focus on human beings and animals. Extraterrestrial beings are still too controversial for most of mankind so that I will develop the topic when the right time comes.
How To Take Responsibility For Your Relationships
You have been in many relationships so far, which were often chosen before coming to the Earth. But even then firstly you need to take care of yourself so that you can improve the current relationships and create fruitful future ones. At the same time, follow some critical principles which I will describe below.
Before you even start having a relationship with another representative of homo sapiens or create it with another being, do not forget to invest in yourself. Here are some ways how you can do it
- Define your life path. What do you want from life? Where are you going?
- Define what you need from the other person. We all need other beings to grow, but what in particular is necessary in your case?
- Raise your vibrations. if you aim for the relationship based on the Light and nurturing you, first take care of your energy level, vibrations. This includes self-forgiveness, proper take care of your aura and thoughts, proper nutrition and emotional balance.
- Think what your assets are, what you can give other beings. Do it in writing.
Apply the Rules
Now you have actually found a given being and formed a relationship. The question is how to take responsibility. Stephen Covey, one of the late self-development gurus, has described seven habits necessary for effective living. The first three concern independence, the next three concern relationships and the last means regeneration, i.e. sharpening the saw. These habits concern people, but some aspects can be also applied to animals.
This habit assumes mutual benefit, especially mutual benefit in which all sides achieve more than their best initial expectations. It does not only work in romantic relationships, families of business. Even our relationships with animals are based on win-win. We feed them, love them, give them shelter and they give us their love and even protection – in the real and the spiritual world (e.g. cats, dogs).
Seek To Understand Before Being Understood
We are usually focused on ourselves, thinking of our righteousness. However, when you put yourself in the other being’s shoes, your viewpoint perspective changes dramatically. Misunderstandings among human beings of two sexes are probably the best example here.
In other words, find the third alternative, the solution which is favourable for both sides. And I do not mean compromise here. It is a mutual agreement, based on understanding and win-win principles. Even animals may force you to find an agreement. For instance, my recent cat Felicia has introduced a regime of getting up at five a.m. to give her food and let out.
Sharpen the Saw
Covey teaches us a very important thing: you need to regenerate, rest to perform efficiently. In other words, to recharge your batteries. Sometimes it may mean giving more space to your partner or animal, but also proper sleep, nutrition and other energy investment in yourself (e.g. new knowledge, self-reflection).
Now I will present you some ways which, if implemented, manifest treating your relationships seriously, i.e. with responsibility.
Be Kind And Full Of Respect
Apart from Covey’s teachings, there are some other important rules for taking responsibility for your relationships. Let’s start with kindness and respect. Each being of the Light is full of kindness. You have already read about understanding the other person or animal. But it goes much further. Everyday politeness, respecting other being’s boundaries (it also concerns animals) are the keys to happiness and making the most of a given relationship. In the case of humans, do not forget about honesty
Nurture Your Relationships And Be Grateful
In other words, treat them like precious plants. Give your partner, friend, parent, child, pet or other animals much love. Invest your time, attention, resources to make them happy. However, watch when enough is enough and do not expect the same in return. For example, you cannot expect the same favours from children of animals.
But when the relationship with humans becomes one-sided, you have the right to review it and even end it, wishing them all the best. In the case of animals, you cannot expect reciprocation on the same level as humans do. These beings teach us unconditional love which is often a challenge even for an enlightened person.
Be Able To Apologise And Forgive
Apologising and forgiveness are the critical musts of each relationship. Even in the case of animals you need to be able to apologise and forgive. I have already written about self-forgiveness.
How To Forgive Others
How to forgive other people? Let it go. I often use the three-letter technique, a shorter form of radical forgiveness. Write down the first letter, describing all your feelings. Read it aloud and shred. The next day, write another letter, which will probably be less angry. Also, shred it. On the third day, write a letter of forgiveness. Of course, you may need more than two angry letters in some cases, but the idea is to eventually get rid of the negativity as quickly as possible.
How To Apologise
Apologising is more challenging. There are some steps which you have to take to make an apology efficient.
- Prepare. Define who you need to apologise to. Choose the right moment for an apology. Prepare yourself (vibrations, aura protection) because you may face fierce negativity.
- Express remorse. Every apology needs to start with two magic words: “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.” This is essential because these words express remorse over your actions. Be honest with yourself, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize. Do the deed as soon as you realised that you had done something wrong, although choose the right moment for apologising.
- Admit responsibility and emphasise. Do not make assumptions, simply try to put yourself in that person’s shoes and imagine how they felt.
- Make amends. Think carefully about this step. Beware that token gestures or empty promises will do more harm than good. Because of feeling guilty, you might also be tempted to give more than what is appropriate. Therefore, be proportionate in what you offer.
In a Nutshell
Today you have learnt how to take responsibility for relationships. The basic principles include win-win, understanding the other being, synergy, sharpening the saw, nurturing a relationship, kindness, gratitude, apology and forgiveness.